There. I said it!
There. I said it! The no-guilt place for parents.
I kind of wish I’d kept a journal, noting all my mistakes and everything I’ve learned in life. I’m not totally crazy so I didn’t actually do this, but what I really want to do is share ways to simplify your lives, relieve you of some stress, and especially to relieve you of guilt. As the mother of three and MeMa (grandma) of six brilliant, gorgeous little people, I’ve been there, done that, and I’m a know-it-all. What I know is that we aren’t perfect. We do the best we can with the info we have and the best of intentions and that’s the most important thing to know. If someone describes a perfect life, he or she is about to have his or her nose grow like Pinocchio. Now, if you want to know about baby products, go to the Mother of All Baby Showers. If you want to know how to survive parenthood, this is the place.
What we all had/have in common is THE QUESTION. My mom had nothing good to say about pregnancy or delivery and I’m pretty sure she didn’t love being a mom, so when I was pregnant I was on my own. It’s said that G-d takes care of fools and little children. I was completely clueless and there was no Mother of All Baby Showers to help. I never read a book or an article. I was new to the community and had no friends. My husband was an intern and rarely home. The only book I even knew of was by Dr. Benjamin Spock, an admitted sexist. Oddly, he said, “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do,” and “Relax..” That’s exactly what I did. I thought love would be enough. My mom taught me how to bathe a baby. I figured everything else out myself. I’m not perfect and I wasn’t a perfect mother (although close, if you want my opinion), but I did love my children enough to hopefully make up for my shortcomings.
Anyway, THE QUESTION: Every mother asks herself the same question about just about everything baby related. What is the right thing to do? Here’s MeMa’s answer: Short of clear abuse, do whatever you want. It’ll be fine and if it isn’t, do something else. Don’t forget that opinions are just opinions, but this is your child and your right to make the decisions, with just a few tiny influences–the other parent and the law. You have the right to ignore unsolicited opinions, but remember, if you don’t want opinions, don’t ask for them. Also, you have the right to change your mind. We bought our kids TV’s for their rooms and our youngest became a hermit. I said to my husband, “We made a mistake putting that TV in there. Let’s not compound it by leaving it.” The TV came out of his room and so did our son.
In an ideal world, women would be a sisterhood and offer each other support, not judgment.
If someone tries to pressure you or to make you feel guilty, e-mail me and I’ll get you over it. My Loves, NO GUILT! There. I said it!
What’s your absolute biggest fear about having a baby? Let’s talk about it right here on this blog. I bet you aren’t alone and lots of others have the same concern. Let’s talk about what we did right, or wrong, and what we learned. E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s talk and laugh and be supportive–just us.
Next topic: Sex (Why not just get right to it because that’s what everyone is thinking about…)